this is getting so hard

i don't even feel anything right now

i walked for 4 hours straight 

the toes starts to cramp

i stared into space for the entire day

i don't even want to speak

i walked into starbucks

i ordered a cappuccino 

after rejecting  an iced vanilla latte

i smile as though nothing is wrong

i still feel like im in a dream

i still question myself why?

thinking back , i wonder what did i do or not do

maybe you think i did not want it badly enough

maybe i wasnt good enough for you

or perhaps bad timing

or you never thought of me at all

either way this is taking so much more out of me 

compared to all the previous.

i have no idea how long will this take

or how am i going to overcome this

i may seem  strong like a man, the great wall 

but i am only human

i have emotions 

don't play with it 

and to those who is planning to put me down

please i tell you not too

just give me a break 

im too tired 

amie come sit on my wall and read me the story of O

tell it like you still believe that the end of the century

brings a change for you and me